It’s Poetry Friday and Heidi Mordhorst at My Juicy Little Universe is hosting. Thank you Heidi! Make sure you check out what she has in store for poets and poetry lovers.
First have to say I want to renew my support for the Black Lives Matter movement after yet another unnecessary death. My heart goes out to Jacob Blake’s family. Can our country get any worse? My optimism lies only with the possibility of Joe Biden defeating Donald Trump in the fall and remembering heroes like John Lewis who never gave up.
My thoughts are with also those who have suffered injury and loss last night from Hurricane Laura and who are in danger still.
Today I woke up to thunder and lightening in Upstate New York which is in no way to be compared to that hurricane. Still, all storms inspire respect for the power of nature.
Last week a poem I wrote was published on line. It had been inspired by the run of the mill, but still dramatic storms I watched in my back yard as a child.
I was pleased and grateful, of course, that my poem was accepted but reading it again, I felt that it needed revision. A lot! Maybe my craft is improving, so I see it more easily. I can only hope. I revised it and will share it here. It was initially imagined as a picture book but ended up a poem.
PLAY!
The sky wakes like an orchestra
tuning violins and oboes before a show.
In a sudden wind
leaves swoosh in my yard.
Pine trees sway to beckon
black swollen clouds to play.
Caterpillars hide.
Bees, dusty with pollen,
return home.
Crows caw like a
thousand stage hands
as the curtain rises
and fat drops splash
here and there.
But soon leaves rattle
like snare drums.
Thunder booms!
Cymbals clash!
lightening flashes . . .
When the curtain falls,
and quiet settles over all,
Maple trees bow,
and high in the balcony,
a rainbow applauds.
© Janice Scully2020
Again, I’d like to express my concern for all those affected by last night’s hurricane.
I’ll end by sharing a video of one of my favorite Gershwin songs, “Stormy Weather.” It is sung by Etta James.
Stay well, everyone, and safe. Thank you, Heidi, for hosting.
If you want to know more about Poetry Friday, find it here, on Renee LaTulippe’s website, No Water River.
hi janice,
your music/orchestra/performance motif suits weather so well.
please consider giving continuing attention to this beautiful composition.
xo
jan/bookseedstudio
Carol, Syracuse is beautiful at the moment. Come back sometime!
I love the dramatic metaphor, Janice, & congrats for the publishing too. We rarely have such storms but we do have “Crows caw(ing) like a thousand stage hands” for so many reasons!
Congratulations on your publication, Janice. I love how you ‘composed’ your stormy experience in your revision. Sometimes a new ‘arrangement’ is just what a poem needs. 🙂
ooooooh! It’s hard to say which part of your poem I like the best. It might be those leaves as a snare drum. It’s wonderful that the rainbow applauds. You make me miss “my” pine trees from western NY.
Bravo!
I love all the sensory details and the extended metaphor of the orchestra!
Janice, you crafted this poem to make me feel as if I was back in Syracuse amidst storms.
“Thunder booms!
Cymbals clash!
lightening flashes . . .”
brings back recollections of visiting the symphony in downtown Syracuse. Congratulations on the new publication and your craft growing.
Love your extended metaphor, Janice. I especially loved this:
Crows caw like a
thousand stage hands
as the curtain rises
and fat drops splash
here and there.
Fabulous!
Thank you, Laura.
Your poem makes me think you’d like Katrina Germein’s picture book, ‘Thunderstorm Dancing’. Loving your ‘fat drops splash’ – and your concluding stanza, especially. (KG’s PB also concludes with the rainbow.😍) Congratulations on publication!
Hi, Janice–I like the design of your blog, with its heavy red frame! I’ve been thinking a lot about how currently, musicians get to remix their popular tunes with other collaborating musicians, and how often the remix is better than the original. I wish we poets got another chance to re-vision our work in the public eye, instead of having to decide at some point that it’s Finished! Be well!
Thank you. I just stumbled on this template, really, so I’m glad you like it. Never thought much about the red border but I guess it works.:)
I love thunderstorms–especially when I’m safe inside. And this poem evokes the power and grandeur of a storm. It’s lyrical and filled with the excitement of a storm.
I share your support for Black Lives Matter and pray for those who are suffering–and there are so many right now!
You gave us a moving “play” lead by mother nature at the helm in your poem. And it’s nice to have rainbow sneaking in at the end. Congrats on your poem being published! Thanks for all and the lovely Etta James song too!