Welcome to Poetry Friday this week hosted from Haiti at There is No Such Thing as a God-Forsaken Town. This blog always has something interesting and thought provoking from outside America’s borders in Haiti.
Like many of you reading this, I’m home and trying to keep busy, keep up with friends and family and write poems. With the tension and the news as it is, I need to divert myself, though I am hopeful positive change will happen. I am very worried about the essential workers and patients in hospitals. This week I returned to my brother’s letters from Vietnam and revising poems inspired by them.
Although I can’t travel now, I have always loved the thrill of different places. Right now I’d be happy with a trip to nearby New York to see my son, but that won’t be anytime soon.
So in lieu of a vacation, I will share a villanelle I wrote about a vacation, a haunted one. It was inspired by the Berenstain Bears books that I grew fond of because my two boys and my husband had fun reading them. What we used to find hilarious was how clueless the father bear was, always getting himself into trouble. Below was one of our favorite books, THE BIG HONEY HUNT. Another one I remember involved father renting a rickety old vacation house with danger around every corner.
When I wrote the below villanelle, I had the Dad illustrated above in mind. This form proved challenging, especially the rhyme sequence, telling a story, and maintaining tension with repeating lines. If you have any suggestions for improvement, please let me know.
OUR HAUNTED HOUSE VACATION Something lives in this house- crashing and thumping underneath. Dad says it’s a mouse. It doesn’t sound like a little mouse seeking shelter from this craggy heath. Something big lives in this house! If it hears us, it might arouse and flash it’s slimy teeth— But Dad says it’s a mouse. Could it be the owner’s spouse, dead and here bequeathed? Is a ghost in this house? With a bucket we could douse a ghost. Make it howl and seethe— but Dad says it’s a mouse. “Children,” says Dad. “Don’t grouse! Go pick daisies. Make a wreath." There's something in this house. Dad says it's a mouse. © Janice Scully 2020
I hope you enjoyed a trip to the heath this Friday.
One of the most popular villanelles ever written was ONE ART by Elizabeth Bishop. It’s for an adult audience and is well worth reading and rereading.
What is a villanelle? It includes five tercets followed by a quatrain. Lines 1 and 3 take turns repeating as the third line of the subsequent stanzas. Then those lines together form the final couplet. The rhyme sequence is ABA, ABA, ABA, ABA, ABA, ABAA.
Have a good weekend. Thanks for stopping.
Do you want to know more about Poetry Friday? Find out about it here.
WOWEE WOW WOW! This is such a challenging form. It takes super concentration to make it to the end with all the rhyme and meter. Well done. I’m from the B. Bear era too….LOVE those silly bears. Your poem is fun and funny and made me feel normal for just a bit. Thanks
I can hear the raised eyebrow when the speaker says, “Dad says it’s a mouse.” This is an amazing villanelle — with a story! with family dynamics! Stanza four is my favorite because of the questions it raises.
Janice, I am impressed with your work. The story is delightful and well-written.
Janice, I am impressed with your work. The story is delightful and well-written.
We have that same book! In fact, I just found it recently when I was looking for books for my younger daughter to read the little boy she is tutoring virtually. I am impressed and tickled by your villanelle. Wonderful word choices! “Dad says it’s a mouse” is a great line to return to — such voice in it. I also especially like might “flash its slimy teeth” and “Don’t grouse!”
We were a Berenstain Bear household, too! My girls would hang on every word of those books (always several pages too long for MY attention-span) but come away tickled and disgusted with how dumb Papa was! Your villanelle is fabulous – full of tension and apparently a very noisy mouse. 🙂
Janice, what a great villanlelle! It is a difficult form, and you nailed it! Love the story, and I can just hear the Dad saying, “It’s a mouse.” : )
Janice ~ Thank you for reminding me of villanelles…and how they can be lighthearted even as they are haunted, as is yours. I often fall in love with a poetry form, play with it for a while, and then tuck it away, forgotten. You’ve inspired me to shake them out and write a new one!
Definitely creepy, the way Dad continues to deny the obvious. (Sounds a little like some politician we know…)
Well done! I like how you handled the repeating lines with some minor changes and worked out your rhyme with enjambment.
What a fun and draw-one-in villanelle you created Janice! Like Laura I also like your fourth stanza–brings the eeriness in. I also liked this line, “and flash it’s slimy teeth—” Thanks also for sharing a link to “One Art” which I am familiar with and enjoy reading!
I declare you Victororious with the Villanelle.
This poem is both intriguing & a giggle, too. Which is much needed in these traumatic times.
I think you’re ready to lead a workshop in it –
if you dare!!!
xo